Eating Together

(modified version of what I wrote for my church's newsletter)

A very happy time over dinner on my birthday in Nashville,
2009 with VT and JMU spring break group.

This year has been full of experiences that show how important a shared meal is, and I share some with you here.  Most of these thoughts are inspired from reading Eat with Joy by Rachel Marie Stone (InterVarsity Press, 2013).  I’d recommend that for further reading.  She is very good at connecting her experience with food with her faith in Christ.  She talks all about her eating disorders, dieting, feasting, and fasting and references the Bible at least every 2 pages. It’s very good.


Stone says on page 67,  “Our English word companion comes from the Latin for ‘with’ (com) and ‘bread’ (panis)—a companion is one with whom you eat your bread.”

My church's companion Rod moved away, but two of my fondest memories were at a meal with him; one at his house, one when he met me at True North.  How many of your stories with your pastor involve a meal?  How many of your stories with other people?  I only have one with Rod that didn’t involve food in some form.

Rod and I at an international dinner celebrating
his retirement.

My home church's former associate pastor Reverend Otis always talked about the importance of eating together.  I remember learning from him that the kingdom of heaven is that shared fellowship around a table.  The conversation and sharing that happens at a meal.  Maybe that's why we ate so much at church in Virginia. Our current associate, Bobby Spurgeon pointed out that most of the stories family and friends told about Gus at his memorial services were about food.  Gus stressing over baked beans in the crock pot at the dorm, Gus struggling to cook a bear arm in his college apartment, Gus eating weird combos of leftovers late at night at camp, Gus telling me we could eat acorns, Gus falling down while salsa dancing in his socks at Tony's house holding a slice of pizza, Gus' emergency salami supply in the bunkhouse, Gus and Peter at the Christian bookstore and Long John Silvers.  It goes on and on.   I would guess many of your memories of family and friends both living and past involve food.  We remember these times because we need food often, and when we share it we realize how much we need each other; how much we need God.

Marcus and Tessa's wedding dinner.  Lots of good times
(left to right) me, Gus, Joe, Jonathan, Tessa, Marcus, Megan, Kathleen, Sarah

Bobby also pulled in scripture of how people didn't recognize the risen Lord until he ate a meal with them. His own disciples couldn't see who God was until they ate together.  God reveals himself during shared meals and shares the meal with us. Most of Jesus’ conversations were at meals with people of various economic and social statuses.  Eating with the “unclean” is mostly what upset the Pharisees.

YAVs and Master Chief Ana getting local seafood

Eating together has a special healing power.  After my cousin Sarah’s recent death, her husband Mark and my other family have identified making family dinner with her kids as a priority.  We all know that’s important.  Eating dinner with their dad every night can bring them closer in this tragic, sad time.  In Eat with Joy by Rachel Marie Stone there is an entire chapter on the healing power of communal eating.  For anorexia, family-based-treatment or the intentional act of eating family meals and making patients eat their food with others has had success rates around 90%.  Communal eating has healing power!

Sarah's kids Brook and Grant enjoying a delicious meal together
at a family reunion, June 2013

In March, I volunteered at “Hearty Meals for All,” where volunteers cook a healthy community meal from scratch with as many local ingredients as possible at the Somerville Community Baptist Church.  They open it up to anyone who walks in the door.  They don’t check to see if you’re homeless before you get food, or if you “deserve” it.  Anyone can come and dine together.  Eating there, I conversed with some volunteers and a homeless guy named Eliot, but there was something powerful about the table that put us all at the same level.  It was just as awkward to talk with the homeless man I didn’t know as the other volunteers I didn’t know.  We could all share something intimate trying to talk with a mouth full of food, and talking about the weather.  The same thing happens every day at the Women’s Lunch Place downtown on Newbury Street where another YAV, Audrey works.  No need to distinguish class, race, just come and get food if you need it, if you want it, if you’re hungry.  And when you sit at a table with other people you are all the same vulnerable people who depend on this earth and food and God for sustenance, nourishment, and survival.  We all share equally in that place of feeding and conversation.

Jesus’ table is open to us a lot like that, but better.  We are all invited.  We are all sinners.  We don’t have to show proof of income, check the box with race, and check if we’ve been convicted of a felony or misdemeanor.  He knows us, takes us as we are, feeds us and makes us whole; makes us who he created us to be.  We can remember our welcome place at God’s table when we eat with others, and we can get closer to them and to God when we break the bread. 

Justin, Gray, and I at Dairy Queen in College

Because it’s so important I have a challenge for you.  For the rest of this week or this month have more meals with other people than meals alone. Invite someone from your job or church out for coffee or for lunch.  Take a meal to a shut in and eat with them; or even to a neighbor who isn’t shut in.  Sit down with everyone in your family for dinner around a table.  We know it’s important. Let’s eat bread with our companions in Christ. We may even recognize him among us like the disciples.

Food Corps volunteer and former JMU classmate
Nick Joins the YAVs in Chinatown

For more on food and faith check out the Presbyterian Hunger Program website blog where the YAVs post regularly (http://www.pcusa.org/blogs/foodfaith/) , the YAV program website (www.bostonfoodjusticeyavprogram.wordpress.org) , or just ask me, Alex, to get a meal with you and we can talk about food and faith. I’ll even help you cook it!