Thursday the 19th I was
brought to tears at a dinner with the Compassion,
Peace, Justice branch of Presbyterian Mission Agency at General Assembly. One of their subgroups, the Presbyterian Health Education and Welfare
Administration started giving awards to
partner churches.
First Presbyterian Church in Danville, IL received one for starting
a church group called "Comfort My People" named after Isaiah 40:1; an
open place to talk about serious mental illnesses, specifically Bipolar
disorder for all those affected by it.
The lady receiving the
award gave a description of their group study, and progress on understanding
and coping alongside several of their church members suffering from bipolar.
I was literally brought
to tears and stepped outside to cry a minute before I realized I needed to go
back inside and talk to this woman. My close friend Gus had bipolar.
That condition led him to kill himself seven months ago to the day I was
at this dinner. Their church in Illinois designated May as mental health
awareness month when they incorporate prayers for those affected by mental
disorders into their worship. Gus' birthday was in May.
I never ever felt
comfortable talking with Gus about his condition, or talking to others about
it. The last day I ever saw Gus, I brought it up to him, and he got mad
at me. Everyone saw Gus when he was ok, brightening up our day, saying
something random, bizarre, caring, and loving. Days when he was full of
compassion and honesty. He just made things better and life much more
full to everyone around him. I wrote a lot about that this winter here.
I also saw him get bad
because of his disease, and was around him when he just wasn't himself, but
felt and continue to feel so helpless on what I can really do. Too many
times I didn't tell anyone about him fearing it wasn't my place, and I
shouldn't talk about it. How different
it may have been if I were more comfortable talking about, like members of this church's group seemed to be, together.
Little did I know my
denomination--The denomination of the church where Gus grew up, where I met Gus
in confirmation class--has had studies and resources on how churches can deal
with and talk openly about serious mental health conditions since 2008 and
probably before. There is a whole committee called Presbyterian Serious Mental Illness Network, a cousin in Presbyterian Mission Agency to the Young
Adult Volunteers (who I serve in Boston).
The woman accepting the
award, Katie, talked about how their pianist only signed on to play music for
them because of the experience he had in their group. He had bipolar
disorder, and having that church who did a study of how to minister to and
understand the stigma, the symptoms, and those dealing with bipolar provided
the place of understanding this pianist needed.
The group used some
resources from the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance in
Chicago. They also used scriptures and discussion questions
from the Presbyterian Church's statement on serious
mental illness, and a study guide the denomination created for church groups.
It sounded wonderful and
very meaningful to the life of that church. I couldn't help but feel regret
that those of us close to Gus had trouble understanding and dealing with him
sometimes and how maybe, just maybe, the church could have been a place for him
to talk, and us to talk. I never had a good open conversation about the
really dark times until he was dead. Gus' family and many of his friends
have been blaming the state's failure to provide Gus with care. The state's
system clearly messed up and didn't find him a bed when he needed it. Period.
But I think we all let him down a little bit too. Many of us feel that
helplessness that we individually didn't know what to do, and the things we
did, didn't work. I share access to these newly found resources for
individuals and churches who are still dealing with such conditions that it
might make it easier to understand and talk about.
Please consider these
resources for your church, club, or small group and share them with others and families who may be interested.
The church is to be the salt of the earth, and the light of the world.
The church must be a safe place, especially when the state fails to be!
God can heal anything broken. An honest community can heal most things!
Helpful links and
resources (please share other helpful resources you know of):
- National Alliance on Mental Illness: http://www.nami.org/
- US Health and Human Services: www.hhs.gov
- Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance: http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=home
- Presbyterian Serious Mental Health Network: http://www.presbyterianmission.org/ministries/phewa/presbyterian-serious-mental-illness-network/
- "Comfort My People" document: http://www.pcusa.org/resource/comfort-my-people-policy-statement-serious-mental-/
- Presbyterian Study Guide on mental illness: http://websites.networksolutions.com/share/scrapbook/68/682741/smi-seeking-response.pdf